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| (Promo screenshot courtesy of |
I've been playing the franchise long enough to remember when Allen Iverson was on the cover every year, and when 2K reached a license agreement with ESPN and the series was briefly retitled as "ESPN Basketball 2Kwhatever-year-it-was." I even remember when the gameplay and the graphics paled in comparison to EA's basketball game; but over the years, 2K kept refining their product, making it better and better, while EA basically concentrated every spare resource they had into the Madden franchise -- though whether it shows or not is up for debate.
Flash forward to today and NBA 2K13 is close to being a perfect basketball game. It has only a few annoying, irritating flaws that keep it from infallibility... but they are there, and they do suck. I play online matches with people all the time, and I can become enraged to the point of wanting to throw my PS3 out the window after a tough loss. It's only then, after slamming my controller down in frustration, that all the problems I have with the game come rushing to the surface, and I suddenly realize that there's still more the developers could do to improve the product.
In response to that list that's been building in my head, I'm going to count off the 10 things that piss me off the most whenever I play a quick match in NBA 2K13. These 10 things are not exclusive to just playing online, and I'm sure there are a million other beefs people have with the game. But since I pretty much only play online team matches, it makes sense to center my qualms around that aspect of the game.
I'm also aware that fixing problems with an annual game series like NBA 2K is a bit like wack-a-mole; every time something is improved or added, some other glitch is going to pop up in its place. Correcting all the errors from the game is an impossibility, and I'm tremendously grateful that the series is even at where it as. I don't hate NBA 2K13 -- how can I, when I play it almost every day? It does, however, annoy the crap out of me sometimes. And here are 10 reasons why:
10. Everyone always chooses the same damn teams
Heat, Knicks, Clippers, Lakers, Rockets. Play a quick match and there's a spectacular chance that your opponent is going to choose one of those teams. And let me tell you -- that gets really old after a while. Not that I always deserve a fair match if I foolishly choose to be the Washington Wizards or the Charlotte Bobcats, but it'd be nice once in a while to not have to play the Heat, Knicks, Lakers, Clippers or Rockets.
What's annoying is that there are people who only play as these teams. You get to see players' records when you start a game with them, and it's not infrequent to face someone who's 123-19 and they've played as the Miami Heat all 142 times. Is having a good online record so important to people that they won't even experiment playing as another team? It's weird. And besides, don't they understand that gamers don't get credit if all they do is choose the best team every single time? So you're 123-19 -- wow, what an accomplishment. I have so much respect for you now that I know you refuse to play as an even slightly-beatable team.
9. You can easily be pushed out of bounds
This bug annoys the crap out of me. If you're running along the sideline, all your opponent has to do is run in front of you or nudge against you and you will be pushed out of bounds, resulting in a turnover. This is an absurd gameplay mechanic. I understand that the defender should be able to stop an offensive player when they're running along the baseline, but seriously, how often do NBA players step out of bounds when they're running with the ball? Or, how often do NBA players step out of bounds when all the defender did was cut them off?
A professional basketball player would either draw a foul or come to a stop if the defender got in front of them. They wouldn't lose all coordination and stumble out of bounds like an idiot. As Mark Jackson would say, "2K, you're better than that."
8. Dudes try to take charges at half court
Here's the thing. The quarters are only five minutes long when you play online, but every other aspect of a regular 48-minute game is the same: including the foul limit. And it's kinda hard to exceed the four-fouls-limit before the other team gets automatic free-throws. On the one hand, it's convenient that you never have to worry about foul trouble, but as a result, opponents will often use their fouls by trying to draw charges. Sometimes they'll even try to take charges from preposterous distances -- like under the other team's basket -- and what blows is that NBA 2K13 actually accommodates these cheap bastards. You can actually be called for a charge if you knock into a stationary player 70 feet from the basket; you don't even need to be running for an offensive foul to be called.
Look, I get why the charge is in the game. And I'm all for people doing what they think they have to do to get possession... to a point. But taking charges from halfcourt is all kinds of lame. It violates the spirit of the rule, it slows the game down, and -- much like the last issue -- it's something that just doesn't happen in regular NBA games. Fouls are only called on players from long distances when the guy with the ball is genuinely out of control and plows over the defender; the day you see a defender take a charge on an inbounds pass from the other team's basket is the day Reetae.com gets bought out by ESPN -- it ain't gonna happen.
7. It needs better directional passing
If you want to be precise with your passing, you can click the right shoulder button and then use the right thumb stick to guide the ball where you want it to go. There's only one problem with this: the only time you really need a precise pass is when you're driving to the lane, when you're already pressing the right trigger button for turbo and the left stick for direction. So essentially, you'd be pressing four buttons at the same freakin' time, which is unbelievably inconvenient.
I know some people have learned to master this combination, but I refuse to accommodate such a stupid button allotment -- especially when the alternative is just so simple. Basically, right when you're going to pass, your hand is already using the left stick. So... why not just make it so that the left stick guides your passes, that way you don't also have to press two extra buttons while you're driving down the lane? Seriously: make it so that if you press the pass button and the left stick at the same time, it heads to the player closest to where you pointed the left stick. It's easier for the user AND it makes sense since the left stick is still guiding the ball, unlike the current system, where all of a sudden you need to use the right stick.
6. The pass system in general needs to be refined
Hey, there's a guy racing to the basket! I'm going to pass it to him... oh... oops. It turned out that player who was open decided to run 10 feet into a swath of defenders, rather than continuing to be around the basket where he would have gotten a lay-up. So the ball got picked off. Well that sucks.
Okay, I'm going to try it again. There's a dude who's open, and when I get it to him, it's going to be an easy two points. All right, I'm just going to pass it... oh for crying out loud! I actually just threw the ball straight into the defender. You'd think the game would've given me the benefit of the doubt and, you know, arched the pass a little. Not a lob or anything, but just something practical. I mean, the game engine honestly didn't believe I intended to throw the ball straight at the defender, did it? Like, come on NBA 2K.
All right, it's a two-on-one. This time it's full-proof. I'm just going to pass the ball and... A BOUNCE PASS! OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! WHY WAS THAT A BOUNCE PASS! [sigh] This is ridiculous. Why in the name of Zeus would my guy try a bounce pass in that situation? Of course the ball hit the defender's leg and was picked off. I mean... why would you throw a bounce pass there! That has to be the most inappropriate bounce pass of all time.
Ugh. I sure hope this is the last time I have a problem with passing in NBA 2K13...
5. Manual subs/timeouts should be automated somehow
The first thing I do when I start a game is pause it, go to coach settings, and switch timeouts and substitutions from automatic to manual. After all, the whole point of me playing this video game is so that I can be in control of a basketball team -- why would I want a fake CPU coach to control which of my players get in the game and when my team calls timeout?
I don't mind that these two categories are set on automatic by default. A nuisance is having to change them to manual before every single game, lest a stupid roster decision be made without my approval. It'd be nice for NBA 2K to adopt universal settings, and by that I mean that once/if you selected that you want manual subs and manual timeouts, you'd never have to change the settings ever again; in the next iteration of NBA 2K, (if you were to buy a newer version), it'd still list you as wanting manual timeouts and manual subs.
This may sound like small potatoes, but I've honestly been changing the game settings for these two categories, regularly, for the past decade. It'd be nice to not have to worry about them ever again.
4. Lag
I don't think I need to go into great detail here. Lag sucks and it unfortunately, occasionally, exists during online play -- as does the unfortunate, occasional, network failure. Let's move on, shall we?
3.The pause system is hella irritating
In NBA 2K13, you can pause the game for up to three minutes before the game asks your opponent if they want to collect a win. The problem isn't that you can be waiting for up to three minutes -- the problem is that the game won't let you do anything during those three minutes. Only the guy who paused the game can make changes/subs/what have you, which means that you're completely at the mercy of your opponent if he pauses the game. If someone is gonna grind the game to a screeching halt for three minutes, I should at least be able to adjust my lineup or look at a box score or something. After all in real life, when one team pauses the action, it's not like the other team is prohibited from conversing on the bench or talking to their coach. When the game is stopped because someone is bleeding, it's not like the players on the other team still stand in the middle of the court, not moving, not doing anything. So why is that essentially how it is when crap gets paused in NBA 2K?
There's other problems with the pause system. The game can be paused whenever someone has the ball or whenever the ball is dead. That's an awful lot of leeway to give players and it's often exploited during online play. Sometimes during a fastbreak, an opponent might pause it for a minute -- maybe to take care of something, or pee, or whatever. And of course they chose that exact moment because they know that when they unpause it, there's a strong chance your fingers won't be ready at the controller, and they can get a cheap score. Or, if you're about to inbound the ball, they might pause it for two minutes, then unpause it on the assumption that you might be away from the controller, and you might not be able to throw the ball in before a five-second count is called and it's a turnover. Weak.
2.Some of the people online are dicks
Okay, so you beat me in a quick match. That's something you can be proud of. You can even be a little cocky if you want. That's fine. But that doesn't give you the excuse to turn into a complete sociopath.
Yes, this criticism could be applied to a myriad of other online games. But I've come across some dudes in NBA 2K13 who are so into the game, and so far into their heckling-ness, that it's honestly a little scary. First, they use all three minutes of their pause time to replay every instant that they dunked on you. And of course they're also on a microphone and they spend the whole time talking shit. And they're throwing superfluous lob passes with the game already out of reach. And then when the game is over, they still can't get over how great they are, because they have to send a message taunting you too. This goes beyond acceptable ragging and into the category of being weirdly obsessive about a video game -- which is never cool. Let's not forget that this is a video game. It's supposed to be fun. It's not a platform for you to violently assert yourself as an utter douchebag.
On the one hand, I think it's a good thing that NBA 2K exists, because I'm sure it gives a release to some weirdo crazy people who might otherwise go on a killing spree; maybe giving them an outlet to vent their dickishness is what keeps them from robbing a jewelry store. Still, there has to be a better way to police these dudes; a little kid shouldn't need parental guidance to play an online basketball game. Some people take this crap way too seriously.
Also, why is it that people only act this way when they're playing as the Heat, or the Knicks, or the Clippers, or the Lakers, or the Rockets? If I can reassert Point No. 10, don't they realize it's not much of an accomplishment to win an online game as the Miami Heat? I could have a little more sympathy for these douches if they were winning as the Hornets and Pistons and Nets and Suns -- but no. I can't even respect their wins, let alone respect them personally.
1.The game is biased against bigmen
There was a very serious gameplay issue with NBA 2K about a decade ago: it was incredibly easy to score inside. All you had to do was get into the lane, spin, crossover, spin, spin, spin again, and bam! You had yourself a wide-open lay-up. And you could do this with anybody.
No one was more aware of this flaw than 2K Games, because over the years they've completely revamped the way lay-ups and dunks are executed, and how often close shots are successful. The result is that shooting near the basket is much more realistic than it was a decade ago. The only problem is that the developers have worked so hard in depowering low-post scorers that it's now almost impossible to take over a game as a bigman.
Ask yourself this: when was the last time you played a game where your opponent had a great big man, and that big man wound up collecting 40 points and you were left saying, "Man, I just couldn't stop that guy."? I can't think of a single instance since I switched to a current-gen console. It's now gruelingly difficult to get a player like Dwight Howard or Zach Randolph or David Lee to back down a defender without having the ball bounce off their leg -- for some reason bigmen are now incapable of dribbling with their backs to the basket for more than a few seconds before they dribble the ball out of bounds, or lose the ball, or turn it over some other way.
I've played against the L.A. Clippers maybe 50 times, and I have never, ever faced someone who dominated the game with Blake Griffin. I've played against the Lakers a bunch of times and I've yet to see someone score 40 points with Dwight Howard. I have, however, played against guys who were able to get 50 points from LeBron James, and 40 points from Kobe Bryant, and even something close to a 40-point game from guys like Jamal Crawford and Gerald Green and Courtney Lee. I even once scored 40 points with Delonte West, back when he was on the Cleveland Cavaliers.
If you told me that my life depended on whether or not I could get a player to score 30 points, and I had to choose between using either Gerald Green or Al Jefferson, I would take Gerald Green in a heartbeat. If it was between Wilson Chandler and Amar'e Stoudemire, I would take Wilson Chandler. And that's the problem. Stoudemire and Jefferson are substantially better players than Chandler and Green, but the gameplay mechanics are constructed in such a way now that it's impossible to dominate the game with a great big man the way you can with James Harden, Carmelo Anthony and Kobe. People should be chomping at the bit to use Zach Randolph in a game, but I'll be damned if anyone ever uses the Grizzlies now that Rudy Gay is gone.
Obviously, I greatly prefer the current state of affairs to the old days, when you could manipulate Kwame Brown and Joel Pryzbilla and total nobodies to score 25 points. But there should be some sort of happy medium where bigmen can at least function in the post a little better. It'd be nice once, just once, to face the Miami Heat and have Chris Bosh be the team's leading scorer. It'd be a cool of change of pace -- a real shocker to the system. Sadly I've yet to see it, and I don't think I will until 2K levels the playing field for the Z-Bo's and David Lee's and Chris Bosh's of the world.
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