Day 36: Wait, Timofey Mozgov can actually play basketball???

(F.G. hair. Illustration courtesy of Bill Pyle)

Going on an extended vacation is kind of like being in a coma. When you return home, you realize that things have happened in the world that are totally worth talking about, only, it's kind of hard for you to talk about them (let alone write about them) because to the ordinary, non-vacationing news-reading denizens of the planet, the thing you want to talk about is old news. It's been dissected a thousand different ways already, and quite frankly, people are already kind of tired of talking about it -- whatever the "it" is.

So, you're going to have to indulge me in talking about the big Family Guy event that happened like a week ago, because it was only in the last 24 hours that I learned that Brian Griffin, the show's loveable talking pooch, was hit by a car in the latest episode and was killed off. I know I'm probably not breaking new ground here, but I'm way too invested in Family Guy to let this go by without a few spare words.

I have something of a love-hate relationship with Family Guy. I absolutely fell in love with it when reruns of it first appeared on [adult swim]. I watched the show religiously (along with Futurama), and I'd wager that I've seen each of the original 50 Family Guy episodes like half a dozen times, because they've been reaired countless times on [adult swim]. (To this day, I still can't watch the original run of F.G. episodes because I've seen them all way too much. Even now, they're too fresh in my mind for me to not know what's coming.)

I firmly believe that the first three seasons, or 50 episodes, of Family Guy are on par with The Simpsons at their peak. Its humor was simultaneously juvenile and esoteric, capable of dropping an incredibly obscure reference to a 1950's TV show and then following it up with a naked deaf guy running around and screaming. But it was all purposeful. Each gag, each episode seemed like it was genuinely coming from a place of inspiration. When I was in high school, there wasn't a single person I even passingly knew who disliked Family Guy. I think part of it had to with the fact that The Simpsons -- the show it's ostensibly based on -- was well into its interminable downward slide of mediocrity, and Family Guy was a breath of fresh air, a taste of how good The Simpsons used to be.

(In elementary school, our school once had a group exercise in the auditorium where everyone was supposed to huddle into groups based on what their favorite show was. Just as a sort of experiment. By the end of the exercise, 90% of the school was in one giant group representing The Simpsons as their favorite show. But that was then. By high school, I didn't know anyone who still preferred modern Simpsons episodes to Family Guy, or even South Park.)

Family Guy reruns became so popular that FOX did the unthinkable in 2005. They actually uncanceled the show. And at first, the show was more or less what it was in its original run. But then something happened, something gradual. The show got lazy, and offensive, and mean. It was as though Seth MacFarlane's worst tendencies had been validated by the show's resurrection, or maybe it was because MacFarlane was launching a secondary show on FOX in American Dad, but for whatever reason, Family Guy stopped having a filter. Its cutaway gags, which in the past had been used fairly judiciously, became way too overabundant and stopped being funny. The show also adopted a generally nastiness to it that I honestly found -- and still find -- rather repellent. Meg, who in the first 50 episodes at least had a place in the family, suddenly became a literal punching bag who got abused in increasingly cringe-worthy ways on a weekly basis. Peter, who in the first 50 episodes was a lovable doofus, suddenly became a rude, uncompassionate joke repository who was willing to do the craziest, most insensitive things just for a simple laugh. And then there was the other change to the show: it got racist, and sexist, and homophobic.

I honestly scoffed at the people who found Seth MacFarlane's Oscars performance so racist and offensive, because wow was it toned down from the stuff you nowadays see on Family Guy. Black jokes, jew jokes, Mexican jokes, gay jokes, and bad ones. All without irony, all without rebuke. It's just... uncomfortable to sit through now. There came a point when Family Guy started getting so lazy and so mean that I stopped following the show on a regular basis. Every time I'd see it on TV, I'd get a little annoyed, because the show that was becoming a regular mainstay in pop culture was no longer the show I had fallen in love with a decade ago.

And so, after a few years of only catching random episodes intermittently when there's nothing else on at 11 PM, I learned the other day that Brian --  who was one of the only two honest, thinking characters on the show (along with Stewie) -- had been killed off. For all my complaints and jabs at the show, and while I personally don't care for its current incarnation, I still have a fondness for it and want to see it do well. (It was part of my childhood.) And while I appreciate the sheer ballsiness that it takes to make such a radical alteration, I can't help but think that without Brian, the show will cascade completely out of control, to the point where it becomes utterly unwatchable.

Which is why I don't at all think Brian's absence will be a permanent thing. It would be putting it mildly to say that Family Guy has a "loose" universe, and there are a million different ways the writers could theoretically revive him, either as a clone or a robot or through some sort of divine intervention. But more than that, I think they just have to bring him back, because without him, what humanity is left for viewers to latch on to? Even the writers, as crazy and apparently-racist as they are, must realize what an extraordinarily awful show Family Guy would become with one of its only relatable characters out of the picture. I mean, I can't imagine they'd actually commit to this longterm. That'd be crazy... right?

So, yeah, those are my thoughts. I basically only watch Family Guy now out of passing curiosity, but I'd like to see it (and expect to see it) correct this Brian death in the relative future, if only because I'd like it to be at least somewhat tolerable when I catch it at 11 PM on [adult swim].

And from that, I transition swiftly from the death of an animated dog to fantasy basketball blurbs. (I know, I'm so good at these transitions. HOW DO I DO IT?!?!?! Bah, I'll never tell.)

• Timofey Mozgov (you know... the guy that Blake Griffin annihilated on a dunk a few years ago) had a tremendous outing against the Nets, going for 17 points, 20 rebounds and 2 blocks. Mozgov has 33 points and 35 rebounds in his last two games. So should you run out and pick him up? Probably not. Not only did these two outings come in the course of blowouts, Mozgov is only coming off the bench, and if you saw any of the highlights from these two performances, you'd notice that he basically scored all of his points on dunks and lay-ups, so a future Marc Gasol he is not. I'm not going to be completely pessimistic towards him, because he's really never gotten a large run of playing time in the NBA. So hey, it's not impossible he could be bursting out. I, however, am more inclined to look at these outings as crazy flashes in the pan, akin to how Jordan Hill went for 24-and-17 just a few weeks ago. If you're itching to take a chance, you can make the add if you want. And I'll concede that if he plays great tonight against the Cavs, I may have to change my mind and recommend that he be picked up. But for now, call me Mr. Skeptical.
• Arron Afflalo was insane against the Sixers, putting up 43 points, 5 three's, 6 rebounds and 5 assists in Orlando's 2-OT loss. Afflalo is the ultimate sell-high candidate. At the moment, he's producing like a superstar (he's seriously been better than Damion Lillard this year), but given the likeliness of him being traded at some point, I don't at all think it's a bad idea to shop him for a more reasonable stat-stuffer, like Nicolas Batum. Before he gets traded however, assuming it happens, Afflalo is a tremendous fantasy play right now.
• Michael Carter-Williams and Victor Oladipo had almost identical lines on Tuesday, with the two leading Rookie of the Year candidates posting triple-doubles. MCW went for 27-10-and-12, while Oladipo went for 26-10-10. If you were smart enough to invest in either before the start of the season, you sir (or madam) are reaping the rewards in a big way.
• Ed Davis went for 21 points, 12 rebounds and 2 blocks the other day, with Zach Randolph sitting out with an injury. Davis is not a bad a streaming option at all on Thursday, even if Randolph happens to be healthy.
• Monta Ellis went for 22 points, 5 rebounds and 5 assists the other night. Monta's three-point makes are way, way down this season, but it's for the best, as he's concentrating more on mid-range jumpers and contested lay-ups -- the shots that he's actually good at. So, good job Monta Ellis!
• Derrick Williams went for just 13 points the other night, even though DeMarcus Cousins was out with an injury. Despite my initial cautious optimism, Williams has been pretty lame with the Kings so far. There's still time for him to become a nice contributing fantasy small forward, but for now, it's probably time to cut him loose.
• Anthony Davis will miss 4-6 weeks due to the non-displaced fracture in his left hand, which suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks... if you own him. If you don't, this is basically the only time you'll ever be able to buy-low for him. If you don't mind potentially waiting six weeks for him to actually do something for you, if you think you can survive it, I think there are worse decisions you could make than to trade for the No. 1 player in fantasy basketball.
• Paul Pierce also has a non-displaced fracture in his hand, only, he'll just miss 2-4 weeks. (Lucky bastard). Pierce is someone worth owning at the end of your fantasy team when he's healthy, but unfortunately, it's not worth enduring a month of inactivity from it. Your best course of action, if you own him, is to banish him to the waiver wire and hope he's still there when he starts to get healthy again.